Mr. Obama Goes to Copenhagen

DATELINE:  Europe.  Obama Negotiates World Temperature!

To thunderous world applause, President Barack Obama extended a hand of friendship to Mother Nature and Old Man Winter, hoping to negotiate a 2 degree Celsius drop in world temperatures.

The Belgians, previously thought to be extinct, had tears in their eyes as they cheered Mr. Obama.  The assembled press corps shivered with excitement and collectively piddled down their little hind legs as the great man emerged, smiling, from the negotiations.  Their wagging tails and incessant yapping betrayed their unbridled glee.

Ocean Kings Balk at Negotiations
"But trouble lurks," warned the UN Special High Poobah Rapporteur for Climatological Appeasement.  That triumvirate of the murky depths, Kings Poseidon, Neptune, and Triton, have stubbornly resisted The World's blandishments and continue to hold El Nino and La Nina hostage.

Ocean Receding Vow "a mistake"

Cowering Europeans blame a rare misstep by President Obama for incurring their wrath.  In a fit of election night euphoria, then president-elect Obama needlessly provoked the lords of the deep with his careless vow to make the oceans recede. 

EU Parliament members have taken to wearing flippers and have outlawed seafood consumption in an effort to appease the angry gods of the deep, but so far to no avail.

As the US president works through his long list of apologies, it is rumored that a mea culpa to the wrathful sea titans is in the works.

Bush, Cheney to blame for ignoring, disrespecting the ocean kingdom

In a face-saving move, the apology will be couched in criticism of the last administration.  Dick Cheney showed total disregard for the Oceanic kings by never once having visited the beach. 

And it is alleged that President Bush urinated upon their abode during various sailing jaunts off the coast of Kennebunkport, Maine.  While in the very act, the former president is rumored to have said, "what's the ocean ever done for me?  Heh heh heh!"