Naked Workers of the World: Clothe Yourselves!

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

-- Mark Twain

Today is May Day. In much of Europe and Latin America, today is Labor Day.

It’s campaign season, so we’re hearing about the masses of people living in inner-city poverty because there are no jobs, or those left jobless because the factory shut down, etc. Those of us who suggest the unemployed move to where the jobs are or go get some training are shouted down either as uncaring or naively simplistic.

Here’s a question: What would your chances of getting hired be if you showed up to the job interview naked? Probably not too good. OK, how about if you presented yourself wearing a 17th Century pilgrim outfit? You know, the big wide-brim hat with a large buckle in the front, poofy-sleeved shirt, wide black belt with a big buckle, leather breeches, square shoes with, well, a buckle. You’d probably be higher on the list than the naked guy, but your chances of landing that job would still be quite slim.

Well, we have a lot of naked people looking for work in this country. And we have people in pilgrim’s costumes, women wearing Victorian era dresses with the thousand buttons down the front, men in tight-fitting 70’s disco garb… Times change, and if you want to stay employed you must change with them. The COBOL programmer has gone the way of the wheelwright and the candlestick maker. Detroit used to be a boomtown, but it ain’t one no more, and thousands have voted with their feet.

If you are a displaced worker and you’re waiting for Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama or John McCain to help you, you’re going to be waiting a long, long time. Politicians win elections by making promises to people like you, but have you noticed that there are always people like you? And they’re still waiting. The ones who have escaped the ranks of the unemployed are the ones who took the initiative to move, update their job skills, or both. It really is that simple. The only thing easier is walking around naked all day.

Helpful Employment Links:

http://www.doleta.gov/layoff/workers.cfm

http://www.educationmoney.com/