2009: The Year in Review

I know, I was supposed to do this a few days ago, but I was busy working...

President Obama orders government to stop using all those zeros to describe the debt

Instead of writing $1 trillion ($1,000,000,000,000) the White House now mandates:

READ MORE...

 

 Does it smell like sulfur in here?

BFF!

Buyer's Remorse Set in Quickly

The Democratic Socialist Party Repeatedly Gave American Citizens the Finger

 Rush Limbaugh tried to buy an NFL team, but the libs were onto him!  They unveiled his nefarious plot to institute modern-day slavery, sparking angry Spendmas riots at Wal-Marts all across the country

Finally, we end with a poem to celebrate the Global Warming Fraud:

Al Gore:  Inventor of the internet; Nobel Laureate; Snorting, surly failed presidential candidate; angry, unhinged raving ranter, environmental pied piper.  And now, poet???

Al Gore has written a poem.  I'm not joking.  Vanity Fair is gushing over it.  Here are the funniest parts (I won't bore you with the whole thing; I want some readership left after this post):


One thin September soon
A floating continent disappears
In midnight sun

Vapors rise as
Fever settles on an acid sea
Neptune's bones dissolve

The shepherd cries
The hour of choosing has arrived
Here are your tools

Reverend Al has inspired me.  Here is my version:

One thin November soon
a global flim flam disappears
in public humiliation

Vapors rise, fevers burn
in the fetid, pestilent clot
of Gaia worshiping simpletons

The libtard cries
The hour of unmasking has arrived
the worshipers are tools

I wish you all a prosperous and conservative new year!

Don't you hate it when they go all changin' everything?  I used to live in an apartment like that...

If Women Controlled the World

Got these in an e-mail. OK, they're sexist, but they're funny!

Obamacare

Sent to me by a NASCAR fan. Don't know where it came from...

Drunk Pumpkins

If you're gonna party this Halloween, do it responsibly...

Still looking for a halloween costume?  AmyOops has the answer!

Thanks for the picture OD!

Michael Eden

Knowledge and Flamethrowers

Intellectual Ammo:  Know your US Constitution
The Internet makes it easy.

Ontological Angst:  Press Protests the Protesters

Instead of Reporting, the press picks up the left's arguments and thows them at TEA Partiers:

The press eats this propaganda up and spreads it like manure, where a thousand liberal fantasies bloom. No argumentation, no logic examinations, just channeling the emotion.

Villainous Company has a funny piece on helping President Obama win other awards.

The Incredible Barackness of Being, or Things that Make You Go "WTF?"

US President Barack Obama has been awarded the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize

Is this some kind of international joke, a spoof played on America?  C'mon guys!  We all got a good laugh...  OK, who won, really?

The Nobel Peace Prize has been a joke for years, but this is real.  President Obama joins the esteemed ranks of terrorist Yassir Arafat, failed president and now senile embarrassment Jimmy Carter, and Reverend Al Gore of the International Church of Gaia.

The Nobel Committee's explanation is a Master's level course in how the left thinks:

The Nobel Committee said he won it for "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples".

"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future," the Norwegian committee said in a statement.

"His diplomacy is founded in the concept that those who are to lead the world must do so on the basis of values and attitudes that are shared by the majority of the world's population."

This is the left's repudiation of George Bush

George Bush freed millions of poor Muslims, giving them a shot at making a better life for themselves, but that's no good.  He didn't have international goodwill in his heart when he did it.

Let's see... What has Obama accomplished?  He wrote two books about himself!  He got elected president!

But what has he done for peace?

He sent 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan and his bombing the crap out of Pakistan makes Bush look like a pacifist.  Dictators everywhere are applauding him (literally at the UN) and now he gets the cherry on the cake...

The Prize is a Trojan Horse
The left doesn't hate America...  they hate the fact that we won't do what they say.  But Barack has given them hope!

This prize is a prod to get America to do the international community's will, especially in light of the global warming conclave of potentates coming up later this year.  The international left will be expecting much from their President, he's a made man now.

I guess they had to do something to make it up to him for the whole Olympics embarrassment thing...

* Obamawagen courtesy of Chicago Ray

Viva Brasil!

Chairman Obamao's Little Red Book

The rank condescension, treating us all like children, is what I find most galling about the Obama Administration in particular, and liberals in general.

And then there are the brainwashed masses...

* The hosanna shouting Hopium Smokers in the press;

* The intellectually, morally and financially bankrupt congressional politburo writing important laws restricting the capacity of flush toilets while continuing to worm their way into every corner of our lives;

* And those servants of the Ministry of Culture and Propaganda, the Hollywood celebutards pledging their pathetic, plastic lives to Obama.


They lecture on on things even a moron knows, and act as though they just thought it up themselves

We didn't know how to wash our hands before The Great O entered our lives!

We thank Minister of Hygiene Sebelius for teaching the masses how to cough.

Our children cared nothing for school until the dear leader imparted his words of wisdom and encouragement to them. "Get serious, work hard, sit up straight..."

Wow! What wisdom! How did we ever educate our young before The Big O rolled into our lives?

When they're not pronouncing the patently obvious as though they were Moses descending from Mount Sinai with The Tablets, they spout absurdities:

Expanded health care for all, and it won't add one dime of debt!

Terrorists attacked us from Canada

"Spend our way to prosperity" is my personal favorite. Right up there with Eat Yourself Thin. And if you disagree with The Big O-genda, you're a racist!!!

Enough Already! Shut Up! STFU! I'm tired of your lectures! And so is everybody else who isn't a mushy-headed libtard! So just shut up and leave us alone. Mankind survived before you got here and it will continue once you're gone.


Even Bill Maher (who I grudgingly respect when I'm not wanting to punch that smirk off his face), is fed up:

New Rule: Now that we've answered his call to wash our hands, President Obama must continue to tell us how to live. Last week, when America was faced with the pan-global swine flu omega death plague, the President went on TV and told people to wash their hands, and experts tell us this made a big difference, which augurs well for next month's "National Wipe Your Butt Day." Next week, in a fireside chat, he'll tell us not to put a fork in the toaster.

Maher better watch it. He may find himself on the enemies list next to Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh. As for me, I agree with Reverend Gregori: No thanks. I've already got a Messiah.

Janet Napoleon courtesy of Chicago Ray

Chairman Obamao: http://www.lifeisajoke.com/pictures1108.htm

Labor Day Humor

Hey! It's Labor Day! Americas most socialist holiday. Wanna get your laugh on? Check out Chicago Ray's photoshop gallery. The man is an artist in the medium of political humor.

Chicago Ray

Only in America...

Picture courtesy of Chicago Ray

ONLY IN AMERICA…. WE SPEND BILLIONS BECAUSE WE CAN'T LET GM AND CHRYSLER GO BANKRUPT, AND THEN, WE LET GM AND CHRYSLER GO BANKRUPT.

ONLY IN AMERICA…. CAN CONGRESS FORCE FANNIE AND FREDDIE TO BUY SUBPRIME LOANS, AND THEN BLAME FANNIE AND FREDDIE FOR BUYING SUBPRIME LOANS.

ONLY IN AMERICA CAN THE PRESIDENT REFER TO AMERICA'S DEBT, WHICH HE VOTED FOR AS A SENATOR, AS A PROBLEM HE "INHERITED."

ONLY IN AMERICA….CAN CONGRESS PASS LAWS THAT THEY HAVEN'T READ AND HAVE NO INTENTION OF FOLLOWING

ONLY IN AMERICA….THE VICE PRESIDENT DECLARES 'JOBS' A 3 LETTER WORD.

ONLY IN AMERICA.... CAN YOU GET A TAX REFUND FOR TAXES YOU DIDN'T PAY.

ONLY IN AMERICA.... CAN YOU BE 13 AND HAVE AN ABORTION WITHOUT TELLING YOUR PARENTS, BUT YOU MUST HAVE A WRITTEN NOTE FROM YOUR PARENT EXPLAINING WHY YOU MISSED SCHOOL.

ONLY IN AMERICA….DO WE WORRY ABOUT 3 GUYS THAT GET WATER UP THEIR NOSES, WHILE THEIR ASSOCIATES ARE BEHEADING CAPTIVES AND BLOWING UP CROWDS OF PEOPLE WITH SUICIDE BOMBERS.

Molto Grazie to the artistry of Chicago Ray for the picture
Props to cousin Pammy for the e-mail joke. Not only does she have a sense of humor, she's an outstanding cook with a big heart.

Funny Web Site of the Week

Awkward family photos. We've all seen them, maybe participated in one or two. Now there's a site dedicated to just this subject. Isn't the internet marvelous?

The site is constantly updating, so there's new stuff every day. Here are a few of my favorites:

Closeness of You
The Wonder Years
Out of Towners

You can see them all for yourself and search the site at:
http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

Have fun!

Got this in an e-mail from Jim W. Anybody know who did it? I think it's an awesome picture.

Update: Chicago Ray, an artiste extraordinaire himself, solves the mystery:

"It's called the "Grand Old Gang" my friend painted by Andy Thomas and it is an awesome picture and he also has a dem version of it that are for sale there. I bought one a while back after seeing it and posting it as well."

Thanks Ray!

E-Mail Detritus, aka Funny Picures People Sent Me

From the recent Somali Pirate encounters:



I can really identify with this one:



And finally, in the dumb illegal immigrant category...


Picture taken from a real traffic stop. Remember, when making a fake ID, use a picture of only yourself, no matter how much you love your girl.

3000 Words