Mr. Obama Goes to Copenhagen

DATELINE:  Europe.  Obama Negotiates World Temperature!

To thunderous world applause, President Barack Obama extended a hand of friendship to Mother Nature and Old Man Winter, hoping to negotiate a 2 degree Celsius drop in world temperatures.

The Belgians, previously thought to be extinct, had tears in their eyes as they cheered Mr. Obama.  The assembled press corps shivered with excitement and collectively piddled down their little hind legs as the great man emerged, smiling, from the negotiations.  Their wagging tails and incessant yapping betrayed their unbridled glee.

Ocean Kings Balk at Negotiations
"But trouble lurks," warned the UN Special High Poobah Rapporteur for Climatological Appeasement.  That triumvirate of the murky depths, Kings Poseidon, Neptune, and Triton, have stubbornly resisted The World's blandishments and continue to hold El Nino and La Nina hostage.

Ocean Receding Vow "a mistake"

Cowering Europeans blame a rare misstep by President Obama for incurring their wrath.  In a fit of election night euphoria, then president-elect Obama needlessly provoked the lords of the deep with his careless vow to make the oceans recede. 

EU Parliament members have taken to wearing flippers and have outlawed seafood consumption in an effort to appease the angry gods of the deep, but so far to no avail.

As the US president works through his long list of apologies, it is rumored that a mea culpa to the wrathful sea titans is in the works.

Bush, Cheney to blame for ignoring, disrespecting the ocean kingdom

In a face-saving move, the apology will be couched in criticism of the last administration.  Dick Cheney showed total disregard for the Oceanic kings by never once having visited the beach. 

And it is alleged that President Bush urinated upon their abode during various sailing jaunts off the coast of Kennebunkport, Maine.  While in the very act, the former president is rumored to have said, "what's the ocean ever done for me?  Heh heh heh!"

Eurotards Applaud Iraqi Shoe Thrower in Geneva

These are the same people who applaud President Obama

GENEVA (AP) - The Iraqi journalist who hurled his shoes at President George W. Bush leaned back in his chair and soaked in the round of applause.

This was not Baghdad or Damascus or Beirut. This was Geneva, where Muntadhar al-Zeidi was given a hero's welcome Monday far warmer than the subdued reception in his own homeland.

al-Zeidi was cheered by reporters and others after recounting his tale of torture at Iraqi hands, his inspiration for throwing the shoes at Bush, and his demands that U.S. forces leave Iraq and Bush face an international tribunal.

This paragraph reveals just how fetid our European "friends" have become, implicitly criticizing the US while lounging under our security umbrella...

Al-Zeidi's reception in Switzerland was noteworthy. While his shoe-throwing act of protest in December made him a hero for many in the Muslim world, there was little public outpouring of support for him when he was released last month in Baghdad.

The Iraqis know this man, one of their own, is an idiot to be ignored, but these Euros piss down their leg over the guy. 

Please go read this short dispatch.  I sense the reporter is not in the bag for the global lefties.  His report is sprinkled with balancing statements such as this one:  

His claims were often inexact, and it was unclear if the confusion was a result of faulty interpreting.

This is how reporting should be.  Remember this reporter's name, he may be fired shortly.  Look for Mr. Shoe to be in contention for the Nobel Peace Prize next year...

AP - Shoe Thrower

Why Polanski Must Face Justice

Europerv amoralists and Hollywood celebutards ask, "Why waste time and resources to extradite Roman Polanksi?"

He pled guilty and was convicted of unlawful sex with a 13 year old.  A 13 year old!  Because he has been convicted, the statue of limitations does not apply.  He fled the country to escape sentencing. 

It could have been much worse for him.  This sick bastard plied a child with liquor and drugs, and then violated her in numerous ways I won't go into here.  ABC News has all the gory details.

A Tragic Past is no Excuse

It doesn't matter that he escaped the holocaust an orphan.  It doesn't matter that his eight-month pregnant wife, Sharon Tate, was murdered by the Manson family.  All more tragedy than any one person should have to bear, but it doesn't excuse criminal behavior.

Justice will be Served

Also, it doesn't matter that his victim has settled with him out of court and has forgiven him, saying she wishes prosecutors would drop the matter.  This was not just an offense against her, it was an offense against the US and our system of laws.  He has settled the first debt, but must still pay the second.

Even Uber-liberal Eugene Robinson says shame on Hollywood and the celebutards who are defending this creep.  No surprise, Woody Allen, who divorced his umpteenth wife to marry her daughter, has come to Polanski's defense...

ABC News - Polanski
RCP - Eugene Robinson

European Unemployment: A Modest Proposal

Dispatch from Malaisistan: Is war the answer?

Foreign Policy has a good piece on rampant unemployment among Europe's young college graduates. The author calls them The New Lost Generation.

This year's graduating class is running smack into the worst employment market in decades -- a situation that threatens long-term social and economic trauma.

Although unemployment is high and rising across all demographic groups, Europe's young workers have been especially hard hit.

The economic consequences are obvious: Young adults living at home, afraid to start a family and unable to engage in the warp and woof of their nation. There are also social consequences:

The effects aren't simply financial. One prominent British think-tanker recently warned, "If this situation persists, the risk may be of a new generation lacking the experience, qualifications, and self-belief to provide for themselves and their families."

The old Lost Generation consisted of those worn out by the collapse of idealism that WWI represented. The senseless slaughter left its mark on Hemingway and his contemporaries.

Nowadays, European youth are cut to the quick by the senseless senselessness of believing in nothing while criticizing everything. Eastern European newcomers doing the jobs Western Europeans just won't do while Muslims nibble away at the fabric of their once liberal societies. God has returned to the continent, but he's angry, vengeful and straight out of the 7th Century. America remains a hyperpower...

Perhaps European unemployment is a natural consequence of too much taxation, regulation, immigration? But nobody wants to go there.

So What's The Solution?
Glorious Militarism! War is the answer. Enlist those young folks, build up armies and navies and go conquer the benighted lands that are causing the world so much trouble. Yes, another crusade! Only this time, not for the Pope and Christianity, but rather for classical liberalism.

We need a new crusade, a reconquista of Classical Liberal values, and these aimless Europeans raised on Sartre's absurdities are just the ones to do it!

A new crusade: For beer, women drivers, Pork bratwurst, bikinis and agnosticism. Sink those pirates ships! Those that don't die in the fusillade can swim to shore if the sharks don't get them!

Take up the white man's burden! For hashish cafes, prostitution, blasphemy, strip bars and the sneering morality of no morals! Blast those illiberal terrorist hideouts!

I've often said you can't kill 'em all. But history has shown that you can kill enough of them to where they're no longer a problem. And you can grab some glory and maybe rescue your civilization in the process.

Or you could just cling to the fag end of a clapped out culture and hitch your self esteem to a football club...

Foreign Policy-Europe's New Lost Generation