Government Bailout Q & A: The Lighter Side

The NY Times, the toilet paper of record, has a government bailout Q&A. Here are some excerpts:

Q: Will Chrysler and GM be owned by the US Government now?

A: Of course not. Barack Obama owns them, and as all enlightened people know, he transcends life itself, standing astride history and above all nations. Like the song says, "He's got the whole world in his hands." See? It's all OK, so relax, and leave the driving to Barack.

Q: Since the auto industry is technically part of the government now, can they stop paying taxes like the other Obama cabinet members?

A: That's an unfair question. Not all Obama staffers are tax cheats. And these things sometimes happen in the hurly burly world of big government. 31 year olds with no experience end up running auto industries, people who can't fill out tax forms end up running the IRS... Hey, these are crazy times!

Q: Is the Federal Government qualified to be meddling in the car industry?

A: I guess you're not listening. Referring back to my last answer, inexperience is no obstacle! Look, city and county governments all over this land have been making busy citizens wait in line for hours and days for drivers licenses and car tags. It time to take that to the next level: National government complicating the entire vehicular experience.

Q: Will all these new czars wear those cool-looking WW I-era helmets with the spike on top?

A: You're confused. Kaisers wore those, not czars.

Q: Oh! Right you are. Will Obama's czars wear big furry hats and grow bushy Stalin-esque moustaches? Janet Napolitano would look bad-aaaaaas!

...

NYT - Bailout Primer

...And in the News

Barack Obama, President and CEO of The Chrysler Corporation, announced that company's bankruptcy yesterday. With Mr. Obama's involvement, it's not your normal business failure. Let's call it an O'Bankruptcy... Read more here...

And in other news, while government underlings were telling us not to panic, Vice President Joe Biden was keepin' it real:

In an interview on NBC's Today Show early Thursday Mr. Biden said he'd advise family members to avoid airplanes, subways and other "confined" places to avoid catching the H1N1, or swine flu.

White House officials are scrambling to clarify the Vice President's comments...

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/politics/AP/story/1026428.html
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124112820335474671.html