Government Gangrene

“Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” -- John Adams

Articulate liberal James Fallows  has written a long piece entitled "How America Can Rise Again."  I don't agree with his conclusion, but he's a great writer and his assessment of our current situation is an entertaining think piece.

The Choice:  More Government (Big Enough to Finally Succeed) or Less Government (decommission a failed enterprise)

For tomorrow, we really have only two choices. Doing more, or doing less. Trying to work with our flawed governmental system despite its uncorrectable flaws, or trying to contain the damage that system does to the rest of our society. Muddling through, or starving the beast.

Dutiful progressive that he is, he picks the wrong option:

Readers may have guessed that I am not going for the second option: giving up on public efforts and cauterizing our gangrenous government so that the rest of society can survive.

He then constructs a strawman to advance his case:  Conservatives, like a third-world rabble, want to abolish all government.  Having unfairly smeared us, he then scolds us to look at what that has done to the world's failed societies:

But the lack of corresponding public virtues—rule of law, expectation of physical safety, infrastructure that people can enjoy or depend on without owning it themselves—made those societies more hellish than they needed to be.

No small government conservative in his right mind would advocate a complete withdrawal of government from public life.  That's anarchy!  

Conservatives Understand, Government is a Necessary Evil

"Society in every state is a blessing, but Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil" -- Thomas Paine

We love our infrastructure and rule of law, but most of us wouldn't mind seeing the feral government burn a few libraries worth of nanny state, liberty-killing regulations.  Does congress really need to hold hearings on professional sports and regulate flush toilets? 

Fallows predictably advocates for more government action, citing John Quincy Adams' construction of lighthouses as an example of proto-big government.

He should have looked to the constitution and the Federalist Papers.  There he would find government as the impartial referee and the blind judge, steered only by the God-given rights of man and the light of our founding document.  Where the federal behemoth no longer casts a shadow, a million flowers will bloom.

"cauterize our gangrenous government so that the rest of society can survive."

Yes.  That's more like it...

The Fatal Flaw in the US Constitution

Overall, the US Constitution is a fairly decent legal document, providing legal protections to the citizens from the excesses of government. The predominant flaw in the document, stems not so much from the ideology of it's authors, but from the time in which it was written. I have determined through careful and thorough analysis and practical experience, that an essential human right was overlooked, what is missing from the Constitution is the following phrase:

A well-illuminated Kitchen being necessary to the preservation of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear incandescent lights, shall not be infringed.

That's right baby, kiss those light bulbs goodbye. Tucked away in the 822 page Energy Independence and Security Act of 2007 is wording that essentially legislates the light bulb out of practical existence. Requiring 25% greater efficiency of light bulbs, phased in between 2012 and 2014, the humble light bulb is doomed. This is the equivalent of banning automobiles by legislating the requirement for a corporate average fuel economy of 120 mpg by 2014.

You might wonder why, I am blogging about this some two-years after the fact. Well, I finally broke down and decided to try the future of home lighting out. Recently the light over my kitchen sink burned out, while shopping for the replacement and tired of climbing first onto a chair and then onto the counter, I decided to check out the stores quite prominent display of compact florescent lamps (CFL). Having normally kept the over-the-sink fixture outfitted with a 60-watt incandescent, I purchased a reflector CFL. According to Energy-Star, my previous 60-watt bulb produced a minimum of 800 lumens, my new energy-star compliant equivalent of a 100-watt incandescent bulb produces a minimum of 1,600 lumens for only 23-30 watts. Given the scientific analysis WHY THE HELL CAN'T I SEE IN MY KITCHEN?

The light produced by this modern scientific monstrosity is completely and utterly inadequate. It is not only too dim...it's....it's....it's..... BLUE. The light produced is insufficient to wash dishes by (I know...that's what the dishwasher if for... but I haven't seen her since the last I.C.E raid... okay, I'm kidding about the dishwasher!) and while not that great for working under, will probably be quite effective at lowering my cholesterol... as any cut of meat placed under it looks as if it is, how shall we put this? Rotting? I am beginning to wonder if perhaps there is something wrong with my eyes... as while this thing may emit 1600 lumens of illumination, I am considering the possibility that it is in some spectral frequency that, alas, I am unable to see. Hmmm, I wonder what the cats think.

If you think that's the end of my story (tirade), you're wrong. In addition to my woes regarding CFL bulbs, I at the same time in the hardware store, decided that I needed to do something about my wardrobe closet. You see, my bedroom closet didn't have a light in it, and I have been forced for quite some time to pull my apparel out of the closet to decide what's what. Always leaning forward on the forefront of technology, as I browsed through the variety of fixtures available I came across the technology which undoubtedly will replace CFLs. I purchased for my closet that latest darling of technology, an LED fixture.

I thought, as I gleefully took the thing home, that I had outsmarted everyone... the electric company, the light-bulb cartel, and would never, ever, reasonably expect to have to replace a thing since it advertised a 30,000 hour life expectancy. Installation was easy, no more difficult than installing a conventional fixture, and in a matter of minutes, I had a light in my wardrobe closet. I flicked the switch and experienced first hand the eureka moment undoubtedly experienced by Thomas Alva Edison many years before. My closet was bathed in the most intense and brilliant light I had ever seen, excepting possibly while arc-welding. As a man, I loved it... I had my own miniature thermonuclear fireball hanging quite comfortably from my closet ceiling.

It wasn't until the following morning that the euphoria wore off. Having had my morning cup of coffee and shower, I opened my closet door and hit the switch. Momentarily blinded by the intense flash, I paused waiting for my eyes to adjust. I squinted and blinked. A gut-wrenching horror oozed out of the closet and seeped into my very soul. I couldn't tell, to any practical extent, the difference between my suits! My legs trembled... I could no longer tell olive from brown. I could not discern the subtle variation in color and pattern from one charcoal suit to the other. I was feeling light headed... I stared into the closet at my three black suits.... wait a minute! I don't own three black suits. For a moment, I think I've gone color blind... pulling a suit out of the closet I discover, no, that's not it.

There in my closet hung my entire wardrobe... I could see every single suit quite distinctly, perfectly illuminated, bathed in a brilliant light, only thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I could no longer tell them apart. I have, in desperation, started digging the holes on my property in which I shall stockpile my future supply of light bulbs, the only problem is I keep digging up my ammunition along with occasional stashes of toilet paper from the 1973 crisis.

I am beginning to dread the future! Anyone know where I can get a decent tallow candle?

Cheers!


~Finntann~