Letterman's Sexual Victims Included Famous Men
Those times when Keith appeared to be squirming in his chair with self-righteous outrage? Now the truth comes out:
"He was actually suffering painful after effects of one of Dave's many rearguard attacks."It's in italicized quotes on the internet (right here, because I just typed it), so it must be true!
"I mean, Dave was just a monster, and he loved the backdoor stuff."
"His influence in the industry is way underestimated. Keith knew Dave could break him if he didn't comply..."
It's also rumored that Nobel Laureate Al Gore and Tycoon George Soros are part of the Wangdoodle clan that tried to wipe out the Oompa Loompas.
This news bulletin was sourced using the same standards as CNN and other respected news media outlets.
